CNC Scene Checklist

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• Intensions. Why are you interested in CNC? What feeling do you want to achieve by enacting a scene like this? Communicate these feelings to me to help set the tone of our scene. I am very open minded and non-judgmental. I only take on the role of the submissive. 

• The dominant, do you hope to feel even more in control? Savage? Sadistic? Something else?

• The submissive, do you hope to feel ravished? Brutalized? Humiliated? Controlled? Something else?

• Orgasms. Are orgasms expected or desired for one or both of us? If so, how will they be incorporated? How many are you expecting to have?

• Roles. Who do you want to pretend to be in the scene (i.e., burglar and unsuspecting resident) or will you be yourself? Do you want to incorporate a mummy/step mummy roleplay in this?

• Limits and Safe words.  I personally find the traffic light system easiest to use. 

• Red, stop the scene.

• Yellow, slow down/change what’s happening.

• Green, everything is good, proceed.                                                                                        We can also come up with a gesture or other nonverbal safe word as well in case one of us can’t speak in the moment. Practice using the safe words beforehand.

• Play intensity. How will the intensity of play in the scene differ from your regular play? For example, if you’re normally a very considerate lover, how will feel inflicting force and how do you determine exactly what is acceptable?

• ​Language. How will the language you use in the scene differ from what you say during your regular play, if at all? What type of language is unacceptable? For example, if you’re not into being called/calling someone a “cunt” during regular play, will that word still be off limits in the CNC scene, or will it be allowed to increase the intensity? Will words like “no” or “stop” be used and ignored?

• Rough body play. What elements of rough body play will be used? What are your hard limits?This is one of the most important things to discuss because serious injury can result if we don’t. Leave no stone unturned in this discussion. Consider:

• Biting

• Choking

• Hair pulling

• Hitting

• Kicking

• Pinching

• Punching

• Scratching

• Slapping

• Spitting/Licking

• Safe sex/oral

• Anything else you can think of                                                                                                      

• Physical limitations. What body parts are off limits for rough body play? For example, if you don’t want to be kneed in the balls or slapped in the face, clearly set those limits. Are there physical injuries or limitations that need to be taken into consideration? For example, does one of you have an old shoulder or knee injury that could flare up if you move a certain way or apply too much pressure?

• Practicing. Will you be incorporating any new rough body play elements that you’ve never tried before? If so, practice them first. For example, if you as a sub have never hit your dom before but you know you will in your CNC scene, set aside time to practice this beforehand (not during a scene) so that you can feel confident in your technique during the scene.

• Props/Implements. Which implements/props, if any, will you use in the scene (i.e., rope, paddle, flogger, belt, knife, etc.)? Will they be used any differently than in regular play? If so, how?  Where will they be? Consider:

• When you’ll need them in the scene and where you’ll be at that point

• Whether you want them in plain sight to increase tension or whether you want them somewhat hidden to maintain an element of surprise

• Where to place them to avoid fumbling or digging around, especially if you’ll be in the dark or dim light

• Marks. Are marks or bruises acceptable? If so, are any areas off limits? For example, if you have to go to work the next day, you might not want marks where coworkers can see them. I do not allow marks on me at all.

• Inside.  Screaming and yelling is prohibited due to the close proximity of neighbors and the street. No banging on walls/doors.

• Donning costumes (i.e., ski mask, Halloween mask, etc.) where you won’t be seen. Byo costumes.

• Beginning. How would you like our scene to begin? Whilst the element of surprise is not possible in planned scenes, it can be replicated with believable acting on my part. This may be dictated by whether you’re pretending to be someone else. For example, if one of you is masquerading as an intruder, it’s likely there will be some element of surprise. If this is the case, discuss the parameters. For instance, if you have no clue that your partner may grab you from behind and hold a knife to your throat, you could be startled to the point of causing an unintended injury.

• Ending. How will the scene end so that it’s clear to both of you it’s over?

• Aftercare. What is your aftercare plan? Keep in mind that CNC scenes can be extremely intense for both involved. We will discuss possible aftercare needs for us both.​